


Dimitri and Edelgard's Epic True Story of True Love

by nabateagirrl2 (alivedovedoeat)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Deliberate Bad Fanart, Deliberate Badfic, F/M, Pseudo-Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24818881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alivedovedoeat/pseuds/nabateagirrl2
Summary: Even Slithers cannot defeat the power of the heart!!
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20





	Dimitri and Edelgard's Epic True Story of True Love

by Flayn, age 1,102

Once upon a time there was a little prince named Dimitri and a little princess named Edelgard. They were deeply in love,  
and also step siblings.

Everyone was happy about this: Dimitri, Edelgard, their parents.

Everyone, that is, except for King Slithers.

King Slithers and his slithermen hated love, and so he hatched a wicked scheme.

King Slithers had his slithermen kidnap Edelgard. Then, they put her under their gayification laser.

"No!" cried Edelgard, but it was no use. In an instant, Edelgard lost all interest in boys, Dimitri included!

"Now," said King Slithers, "it's time to meet your new gay boyfriend. His name is Hubert." This was very  
confusing so it was best not to think about it.

"Greeting, my lady," said Hubert.

Soon, Edelgard was grown up, and it was time for her to go to fighting school. Fighting school was taught by  
Professor Byleth, who had big boobs and didn't know about baths, which are things lesbians like.

Suddenly, Hubert appeared. "My lady," he said, "I beareth thee news. Dimitri is also at fighting school."

Could it be? Was he really here?

"My lady," said Hubert, "this information came at a grave cost. When I found it out, the slithermen stabbed me."

Edelgard nodded and went off to find Dimitri. She wouldn't let Hubert's death be in vein!

But what Edelgard saw when she found him shocked her. Dimitri was doing it with Felix! He had forgotten about her! She was  
furious!

"Professor Byleth!" yelled Edelgard.

"Yes?" asked Professor Byleth.

"Let's get married!"

"Okay," she said. "Let me just get out my wedding ring and slowly move it towards your hand."

"Wait!" cried Dimitri, who had followed Edelgard into the room. Thinking fast, he grabbed Felix and threw him at the ring,  
knocking it to the floor.

"Edelgard," said Dimitri, "I only did it with Felix so that Duke Fraldarius would give me his de-gayification potion!"

"What!?" cried Edelgard. Dimitri brought the potion to her lips, and in an instant her love for him was restored.

"We'll be together forever," said Dimitri, and they were. This time everybody was happy. Even the slithermen!

THE END


End file.
